Watching Paint Dry

Sometimes I start a thousand things passionately all at once and then never finish any of them. It's a glorious  symphony missing it's finale, a bright storm without a rainbow Lately, that's been my state of mind- like I seriously have a whole bunch of blog drafts saved on here that are half shadows of interesting things, and you know I would be surprised if this one survives its journey to the web. This is why I can speak particles of numerous languages, but have only implanted an entire grammar of two into my brain. There are just far too many things in this world that fascinate me and so very little time; well, that's often the reason for projects begun and left as drafts, but recently there is some kind of sinister disinterest blazing it's way into me, a slow devouring thing that leads me to seek but never find. Sometimes I wonder if I've just diverged too far off the intended trajectory of my life (does that even exist??? or are we all just wandering eyeless and confused grasping at whatever we bump into) and that every step I take leads even farther off that path. The journey is more important than the destination, but what do we do when the journey is just kind of beige and uninteresting? Perhaps while I'm in France living the starving part, I will add in artist to make life survivable. If I can find a way out of this blandness, that is. Well, that was a lot of rambling for May evening, but well these things must find their way out from time to time.